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R.L. Totty Dunham - Forever Rounding Third (p.286-372), ca. 1993

 File — Box: 1, Folder: 5

Scope and Contents

From the Collection:

The collection is comprised of materials collected by Betty Neeley that document five friends and lesbian life in the St. Louis area from the mid-20th century to the 2010s. Items in the collection are arranged alphabetically by name and span from 1989 to 2019. Jill Aul was presented a Women of Achievement Award in 2019. Betty Neeley attended the awards luncheon and saved the ceremony program, a commemorative bookmark, and her invitation to the awards ceremony (f.1). The Women of Achievement Award is a St. Louis area tradition begun by the St. Louis Globe-Democrat in 1955. Per the organization, "the St. Louis Women of Achievement Award is the oldest ongoing program in the area whose sole mission is to honor and recognize the volunteer work and leadership of women." R.L. "Tottie" Dunham wrote an autobiography, Forever Rounding Third. She wrote the manuscript over a number of years but completed it in approximately 1993 after she went to live with her older sister, Jo Kay Mink, following a stroke. A photocopy of the unpublished, 372-page manuscript is included in the collection (f.2-5). In her story, Dunham discussed her life as a lesbian in St. Louis, her family, and several of her romantic relationships. She wrote on the last page of her memoir, “My personal herstory is, I believe, essential to our understanding of lesbians and to our fuller appreciation of women in general.” Dunham began Forever Rounding Third recounting her relationship with her father who encouraged her athleticism and her dysfunctional relationship with her mother who sent her to therapy to fix her queerness. She explained the tragic events surrounding the fatal shooting of her mother’s boyfriend by her brother, which a grand jury deemed accidental (f.3). Years later, Dunham’s niece came out, leading Totty to ruminate upon the generational differences in the lesbian community (f.4). Dunham explored her first relationships in detail, from her platonic college relationship to her first sexual experiences, told in explicit detail, with her first two lovers. As the memoir progressed, she dissected subsequent relationships and how they compared to other lesbian relationships. She also discussed the role gay bars played in her friendships, sense of comradery, and in her romantic attachments. Throughout Forever Rounding Third, Dunham recalled the homophobia she and the lesbian community faced. Dunham’s first experience was with her mother and then with the rejection of close friends when she came out to them. She was physically beaten by a group of young men after a date. In the 1970s, a psychiatrist at the State Hospital diagnosed Dunham’s alcoholism as a direct result of being a lesbian (f.3). A therapist later helped her accept her homosexuality as a natural lifestyle choice. A lesbian softball team she coached asked her not to socialize with them because she was “out” and they were not. And finally, she recalled the firebombing of the Mor or Les bar in 1979, which was owned by her friend Mac (f.4). Dunham addressed how her health issues impacted her decisions: back problems that benched her softball playing, a heart condition presumably inherited from her father, and a stroke in the summer of 1991 that left her in a wheelchair. While she was active with local softball leagues, she only wrote at length about the 1990 Arch Rivals who competed in the Gay Games III in Vancouver. She and Betty Neeley drove to Vancouver together (f.5). The manuscript ends before the team went to Gay Games IV and won a gold medal in 1994. There are two posthumous tributes published online shortly after Laura Ann Moore’s death in 2015. Both are laminated. The first page is from the St. Louis LGBT History Project's website. The other is a more personal and literary reflection by Kris Kleindienst, longtime co-owner of St. Louis's Left Bank Books and Moore's friend and comrade (f.6). The Air Conditioning / Heating / Refrigeration News: The HVACR Contractor’s Weekly Magazine profiled service tech Lisa Whitson in an article, "All in a Day's Work for Female Service Tech," on July 21, 2003. Whitson was with the company for nine years and was requested by approximately 55% of the customers requiring service. A clipping announced that Kim "KY" Yancy had won the ShowMe Guide's readers' poll for best bartender and included a photograph. Yancy autographed the clip and left a slightly off-color note, presumably to Betty Neeley: "Stud Bitch, if there's ever any navel fuzz ... it's yours!!! Promise. Luv, KY."

Dates

  • ca. 1993

Conditions Governing Access

The collection is open for research use.

Extent

From the Collection: 0.27 Cubic Feet ( (8 folders))

Language of Materials

English

Creator

Repository Details

Part of the Missouri Historical Society Library and Research Center Repository

Contact:
225 S. Skinker Blvd.
St. Louis MO 63105 United States
314-746-4510